Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

One thing that saddens us more than people not ever starting their pole dance or aerial arts journey, is people giving up because they’re not progressing as fast as others.

In every class and at every studio, there are students from a wide variety of backgrounds, experiences, skills, and more. While that’s one of the things that makes this community so wonderfully diverse and inclusive, it’s also what often causes discouragement among beginners or those not progressing as quickly as they’d hoped. 

Here’s an honest truth: social media has made it impossible for people to focus on their own progress. 

Let us tell you why. You’ll see an influencer who just began pole dancing 2 years ago, performing high-level moves in a perfectly edited video on a perfectly curated feed—one they probably trimmed out errors from and filmed 20 times before getting “the one.” Or maybe you’ll see an aerialist who tries lyra for the first time and performs difficult skills, but also has an extensive aerial and gymnastics background that you are unaware of. 

What they don’t show you is how often they fail. 

Because no one wants to showcase that on their public feeds. You’re not seeing the realities of their training. You’re not seeing the outtakes. You’re not seeing the falls, the bad grip days, the burn out on hours of practice. You’re not seeing the occasional regression after taking a break. 

So while simultaneously inspiring, these manicured and “perfect” videos we see online have a tendency to skew our expectations, leaving us to believe that our progress must be linear—and it must be fast. But that simply cannot be any further from the truth. 

When it comes to your fellow students, there are some important things to keep in mind as you watch others move through their programs. 

Everybody has a different body—and sometimes there are factors entirely out of your view that contribute to someone’s progression. And while it may feel discouraging that someone nailed a new move before you, it’s almost a guarantee that there’s a move YOU are naturally fluent in that someone else struggles with. 

It’s important to remember that you can’t focus on your own progress when you’re too busy paying attention to everyone else’s. 

You’ll miss all your little wins and forget about the things you CAN do while you’re beating yourself up over the things you can’t (yet!). 

Here is a tip from us: record yourself! Record your first practice. Then record your 10th. 

Your 30th. 

Your 50th.

Your 100th. 

If you stick with it, we guarantee you’ll see improvement—in your flow, in your strength, in your understanding of your apparatus. 

Your practice is entirely your own. And it’s a beautiful thing to grow at your own pace. 

Don’t let anyone else’s journey steal the joy that yours brings. 

Because that’s the opposite of what we’re trying to do here as a community. 

If you’re looking to start your own practice and join an inclusive, supportive community of pole dancers and aerialists, join us for an introductory session in Frederick, MD!